Piper Nuelle

Hey my lovelies, I have been chatting to a few author friends and I’ve also had my ears to the ground listening to juicy stories which I think would be great for a little mini series on my Author Blog Page – AITAA – Otherwise known as ‘Am I The Author A-hole’. I want this mini series to mimic the ‘Am I The A-hole’, series that is all over my for you pages on Facebook and Youtube. One such Queen of Petty and AITA is Charlotte Dobre, I absolutely love and adore watching her AITA videos and it gave me this idea… Am I The A-hole but for Authors… So, first things first, if you have an Am I The Author A-hole story, please send it in and I, myself will decide if you are indeed ‘The A-hole of Authors’. I just want this to be a bit of fun, I don’t want anyone to get any hate, but I though it would be cool to hear stories and judge accordingly.

So… AITAA?

Am I 32(f) the Author A-hole for going non contact with my family who won’t support my writing dreams? My mother 52(f) let’s call her Jackie, and my father 60(m) let’s call him Mitch are both university professors. They have both made good careers teaching students the sciences and have taught many people that have gone on to get amazing jobs and doing … SCIENCE … Unfortunately I wasn’t the best at school, Science wasn’t a core subject I enjoyed and I scraped by a pass when I completed my GCSE’s. The only subject I truly enjoyed and got a ‘B’ in was English.

I went to college and done an English A level along with a few other subjects, as my college made it so you had to do four subjects unless you done a VTEC course like hair and beauty or mechanics. So my subjects were; English Language, English Literature, Media Studies and Photography. At first they didn’t agree with the subjects I chose as none where Sciences, but they soon came to terms with the English’s as they said I could become an English Professor. I reached the end of college and decided that I wasn’t going to apply for university, I didn’t see the point of huge debt just to claim I had a degree on paper, plus I had no intention of wanting to teach.

I decided I wanted to become ‘A Writer’… Ever since I was little I would doodle stories in the back of books like fan fictions, have millions of notebooks filled with ideas, I would draw out front covers, I would plan whole worlds with people in it who’s lives I controlled, I would read and read and read till the cows came home. So I decided to tell my family… They were not pleased with me.

They told me how I needed a proper job to financially support myself, how the ‘Arts’ was not a career worth trying because it never paid and when it did it would be in drips and drabs. How, just because it was my dream doesn’t mean it should be something I should do, that they put their dreams on hold to do their jobs and make money. Then… the Cherry on the icing on the damn cake… They told me I wouldn’t find a man, that no man would want someone doing an arty subject because ‘arty’ people are a little odd! I told them that I believed we only live once and that I would regret it if I didn’t at least try to do my books and get somewhere and that if I found a man who didn’t understand my dream or support it, then he wasn’t the right man for me.

Then the bombshell… They told me if I didn’t get a proper job I had to move out.

Now one thing I will add, I did pay my parents keep, I didn’t sponge off them, I had a small parttime job working as a waitress. Yes the money wasn’t marvellous but it meant I could help pay my way and I also got tips. I also done some freelance writing and every so often a piece would get published and I would receive payment, of which I would offer them some. So I had a lot of faith that one day my writing would take off and be accepted.

I was livid, I felt like they just wanted me to be carbon copies of them… So I moved out and stayed at a friends flat in their spare room and paid them the keep I was giving my parents. I then went ‘No Contact’… Six months later I heard back from an ‘Agent’ about a book manuscript I had sent off, I had sent it off to many but either heard nothing or was declined, but this one… She took it. I’m now in the process of having my first debut novel published and I’m so over the moon. My mum found out from a family friend and tried contacting me, saying it was great news and she was sorry. My dad on the other hand still won’t agree with my decision and said one book won’t keep me afloat for the rest of my life and I should get my teaching degree instead now I have it out of my system.

Whilst I miss my mum, she would side with him over this if I saw them in person so I decided to stay no contact. My cousin called me and said I was being an A-hole and that I should just forgive them because they are getting older now. Am I being the A-hole?

What is the verdict?

I for one don’t think your being an A-hole, you are standing your ground and showing where your boundaries lie. It’s not a bad thing to show people where those boundaries are and what is not acceptable. Whilst they might not agree with or understand your dream (Unfortunately many creative people are made to feel bad because they have an artistic dream) they shouldn’t try to push something else on you that wouldn’t make you happy. They should be supportive. And they shouldn’t try to force it with the promise of love… As you said a man should love and support you if they truly care for you and should take you as you are… Author writing warts and all.

Yes, they can advise you and offer their ideas on certain things, but they should not be dictating to you what you should and shouldn’t do with your life. And congratulations on the book deal!!! That’s amazing news.

With regards to your mum, could you maybe not just meet with her for a coffee in a neutral place like a coffee shop every so often just to keep in contact? Maybe without your dad for a while? Maybe eventually he will come to terms with it and come around?

If that is not an option, then you have every right to stay ‘no contact’ for your sanity. And unfortunately money sometimes does the talking, maybe if your book becomes a household name and makes a lot of money, certain family members might reappear and try to come back into your life. Again, remember those boundaries. But no, you are not the Author A-hole in my opinion!

That is the end of the ‘AITAA’ Court session for today. If you have any AITAA stories that you wish to be discussed in the court room, please email in, or send a message via my Instagram which is just Piper Nuelle and I will try to feature it and give my verdict. Disclaimer – All images used in this post were produced by AI.

Court is adjourned.

Xo Piper Xo