Piper Nuelle

Daily writing prompt

How would you describe yourself to someone?

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How would I describe myself to someone?

This question is hard for me, I am actually a bit of a loner, I have severe social anxiety and I don’t have many friends. So, I actually find it really hard to describe myself to myself, let alone if I had to describe myself to someone else… But I guess if I had to I would describe myself as:

• Creative – I love writing books and creating art. I drew the image above and it has become my logo of sorts for my blog and my social media channels and I am about to self publish my first book.
• I’m an avid reader – I love books and collect them as a hobby. I have my own study which has hundreds of books inside it.
• Anxious – I’ve had quite a hard life (I know a lot of other people have too, it’s not just me but this post is about me so…) but everything I have been through has mounted up and has caused me to have PTSD and trust issues, so now I am hugely and severely anxious. Someone ran my husband over in a hit and run, I had to watch him be operated on many times over 10 years, he now has a leg amputated and I became his full time carer overnight as well as already being a mother to my two beautiful babies. I have Endometriosis, I have been gaslit and ignored by the NHS for decades, told its all in my head, that the pain is normal… But it’s not and now I’m awaiting a hysterectomy because my body is so fatigued and my organs are stuck together with chocolate cysts caused from blood pooling inside my body and I have to take a drug intended to treat cancer to force me into a menopause to help ease my symptoms. My kids have been ill and ignored, one of them had Epilepsy as a child and the other hypermobility, yet the schools failed them on many occasions… Ignoring their needs both physically and educationally. Friends and family have treated us differently because we couldn’t always attend functions or help out when needed, so we were left to fight alone… So many things, and there is more, so much more but I don’t want to bore you or make it seem unreal, because it was and is all real and has left me so severely socially anxious that I now talk to no one.
• Quiet – I’ve always been a quiet soul, and I’ve always been good at enjoying my own company, but as you can guess, I’m even more so now.
• I used to be funny – Before my social anxiety became so… fierce… I used to be funny. I used to use humour as a shield, to deflect, but it used to make people laugh and gave me a connection with people, something I don’t have anymore. Unless you count the characters in my head as being my friends (I promise I’m not crazy… Much)
• Empathic – I think I am an Empath, which is maybe why I struggle so much with people and their energies and emotions, and is maybe why my social anxiety has reached a point where I am pretty much now a recluse. Not only has a lot happened to me in my life to affect me personally and leave me with PTSD, but it also could have affected me and my skills of empathy and not being able to control it or block out bad energy or people.
• I’m an author and a writer – I love to write, I am about to self publish my first book but I already have so many ideas for other books and stories and I also love to blog. My dream goal is to just write as many books as I can in my lifetime!
• I’m OCD – I’m a neat freak… I hate mess. My house is pristine and it really gets me down if it gets messy but I’m too tired or poorly to fix it. I’m not a forceful ‘OCD’ person, I don’t expect my family to follow suit, my kids rooms are their domains and I do let them be free spirits and have their own style and if their room is a little messy I don’t freak out, but… The rest of the house, has to be tidy and clean. The bathrooms and the kitchen are my main sources of stress and need to be clean all the time. I cannot stand the thought of germs in my house!!!
• I’m a cat lover – I have two beautiful black kitties and they are my emotional support animals and I love them to the moon and back.
• I’m a mummy and a wife – I adore my kids, they mean everything to me, I would die for my babies I love them so much. And being a wife to my husband means so much to me too. When we got married and took our vows I meant them… For better for worse, sickness and in health… We’ve been through it all…
• I’m a hard worker but also not someone to be noticed – What I mean is, I work very hard in things I’m passionate about, and in jobs I’ve had, but I’m also one of those people that do the hard work, but don’t get noticed, but someone else will take credit for what I do. Which again, has probably led to my social anxiety induced mind…

Wow the more I write the more I realise I am actually a nervous wreck, I’m a mess… But any-hoo, that’s me I guess… I think I’ll stop there before I cry Lol!!!

xo Piper xo