Piper Nuelle

I have a right hankering for strong female lead main characters, women that are vigilante’s and fight for women’s rights in a distorted kinda way and a little murder here and there at the moment… And to be honest, I think many readers do at the moment because these almost ‘Black Comedy’ stories and novels are rampant at the moment.

If you are unfamiliar with the term ‘Black Comedy‘, it doesn’t mean much of a haha comedy, no it means a film, play or book that comes across and deals with tragic or rather distressing and triggering subject matters but in a slight humorous way. And this book deals with distressing and triggering themes very much, and although these themes are not funny in the slightest, the fact there is revenge brewing in the pot or the wine glass as it where, can be seen as getting your own back but for the whole of womenkind and having a slight humorous side making these subject matters and themes more… Palatable.

The book, ‘I bet you’d look good in a coffin‘, is a sequel to another book ‘How to kill men and get away with it’, which I haven’t actually read but I want to now, but although this book does follow on from that story, it actually can be read on it’s own because there are elements in the book which briefly describe what happened in the past to the main character and her friends, but also the main story in this one doesn’t necessarily need the first one to make sense. But, if you could read it, it would build the world around the main character a little more.

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Do not read ahead if abuse towards women may trigger you. If this is where we depart on this blog post, then I thank you for joining me thus far but I appreciate and totally understand if you need to leave. Sending love and hugs xoxo Piper xoxo

The story follows ex-influencer Kitty Collins, who for no better word is a ‘female serial killer’. But only bad men die by her hand! She has her reasons for the murders she has committed, such as witnessing the rape of her mother and murdering the A-hole that did it… Then she also witnesses the gang rape of her best friend, so those A-holes end up floating in the sea… One of her best friends turns out to be a serial stalker and manipulator and the father is also a paedo… So you guessed it, they die!

But that is Kitty’s past, she is trying to turn over a new leaf, become a better person, take anger management classes… Especially after the accident… Where one innocent man… Died by her hand. But when she is at the anger management support group and one of the women’s daughters there is sexually abused by a man in a power position it sends Kitty back into a spiral and she kills again… But before she can clean up the crime scene she is ushered away by an emergency. The emergency, a surprise party she had no idea about and a wedding of a family member she cannot miss… Her mother!

Whilst abroad for the wedding, Kitty is threatened by an internet ‘Incel’ who is trash talking about women online and is telling men to hurt and abuse women and somehow, Kitty has fallen on his radar. He sends her many threatening posts and talks to her through his live videos, only problem is, he knows who she is, but she has no idea who he is due to his disguises.

Suddenly, her mum’s new fiancé is looking very suspicious and has familiar build and reeks of masculinity, the toxic kind. So she kidnaps him before uncovering that he is in fact innocent, as is actually really and truly in love with her mum. The trauma of her past is playing tricks on her and she finds it hard to trust that anyone isn’t trying to hurt her mum or get a hold of her mums money. Suddenly, Charlie, who is Kitty’s boyfriend goes AWOL… And she fears the worst that he is cheating on her. After going on a bender and meeting some sleaze bag on the beach she is attacked. but not before old Kitty resurfaces once again and murders his ass and leaves him to float in the deep blue ocean of France.

Her mother finds out about the killing and the kidnapping and tells Kitty to leave and go back home to the UK, so that hopefully if the body washes ashore she won’t be in the sights of any investigations. But as Kitty goes to leave Charlie suddenly texts, saying they need to talk and for her to meet him at an Air BNB. On arrival it is clear that her boyfriend was kidnapped by the crazed Incel, and it was just a ruse to get Kitty there. Once in his grasp, it seems the end is nigh for Kitty and Charlie, but with a freak turn of events he is murdered by his own sibling… Turns out he wasn’t just an A-hole to women but his siblings too!!!

The cat is now out of the bag and Charlie now knows about her murderous ways, he doesn’t grass her up but cannot be around her anymore and leaves her.

Kitty then has to keep up a brave face when her mum has a change of heart and wants her back in the wedding. Once the wedding is over it becomes clear that Kitty now has a new accomplice, someone to help her when she needs it, someone who also want’s men to stop hurting and killing women… And when she finds out her friend who was gang raped before has been severely beaten by a man, a man who was in a position of trust and should have been looking after her, her murderous vibes come back out to play and the story ends with Kitty and her new accomplice jetting off to find the man and get revenge.

This book was actually a real good read and was great for me this week because I had a weekend away at Centre Parcs with my little family, and whilst the kids were off adventuring with their dad, I went to the spa to celebrate my own book release and took this with me to read. The story kept me captivated till the very end because I wanted to see what would happen and what would become of Kitty. I wanted to know if she would get caught? I needed to know who the ‘Incel’ was that was stalking her and threatening her? I needed to know if she would manage to get revenge and live to tell the tale. It kept me on the edge of my seat… But also, hit a little too close to home…

This story included a lot of what women have to go through, both mentally and physically. Not all men are bad of course, and not all women are good, there is definitely a mix in the world, but women do tend to have it harder in the safety sense of things that go on in the world as a sex we drew the short straw. Women cannot walk the streets alone, day or night really anymore. It used to be more at night but even now, during the day can be the wrong time, wrong place. Women are tormented, told if they wear too little clothes they are sluts and deserve what they get, but if they wear too much they are boring and frigid and need to show more skin. Women are attacked, mentally, sexually attacked and abused, rape and murdered, and yet a lot of the time the people that do those things to them are let go with a slap on the wrist, they are told it is their fault, they are not taken seriously, told nothing can be done because the person or man who did it to them has too much power and no one will believe them… I know, I’ve had it happen first hand.

When I was a ‘Tween’, not even a fully fledged teenager I was sexually attacked!!! I was about 11/12, and I was at a Laundrette. My mum worked nights and one of my chores was to take our families washing to the laundrette and to wash and dry it. We didn’t have a washing machine at home, our flat wasn’t big enough to cater to one. So, I was at the Laundrette, during the day I might add, but I was alone. I had carted my families bag of washing in and had flung it all in the washer, read my book and then once it was done, I threw it in the dryer. I used to take a book or some homework with me to keep me occupied because I didn’t like walking back and forth to our flat, because the alleyways scared me and sometimes, I would practice dance routines for my dance lessons at school because it was usually quiet in there.

As I packed up my dry washing into my bag and was about to leave a man came in, he was in his late 50’s. He seemed so happy to see me! He came up to me with open arms and hugged me, said he was so happy to see me and then rammed his tongue in my mouth and kissed me and pulled me in real close, like really, really damn close! There was no space between us. I was so scared I froze. I was a young child, and he was older than my dad, this should not have been happening. He pulled away from me and jabbered on about something, telling me he could smell oil at the back of the Laundrette and he wanted me to check it out. I don’t know what he was expecting a twelve year old girl to know about oil, laundry machines and how to fix it. Luckily I wasn’t stupid!!!

I told him that my dad was about to pick me up and take me out, but that I could send him round to check out the oil smell as he was good with cars so might be good with laundry machines. I remembered him panicking and telling me no, no need, no need! I managed to walked out of their, mostly unharmed, just a bit traumatised and scared.

I went home to my mum, luckily she was awake and getting ready for work, she saw my face and knew something was wrong, I broke down in tears and told her what happened.

She of course phoned the police… And do you know what they did? NOTHING!!!

A teenage girl had been sexually assaulted, an man older than her dad had kissed her, ramming his tongue down her throat, he tried to lure her (me) out the back of the laundrette, away from the windows, away from anyone who might have walked in.

What made it worse was it turned out he owned the Laundrette!!! He had seen me on video footage going there a few nights a week to clean and dry mine and my sisters clothes for school. The police knew that. They saw it… But the day he did that to me, the footage on the stores CCTV had been conveniently deleted! And he told them it had been a friendly and happy hug and a peck on the cheek, nothing more, nothing less. I had gotten the wrong end of the stick.

So even though he admitted to touching me (even if it was a so called hug) and even though he admitted to kissing me (on the cheek or so he said) and even though there was previous footage of me that he had been watching, and even though he deleted the days footage of when he dared to try and abuse me… The police said there was nothing they could do and it was my word against his, and he being the adult, and me just being a child… The went with his side of the story!!!

To me it just shows how little people think of women and girls. How even the people that are meant to protect and fight for justice, just sweep things under the carpet for girls and women because they can. How damned useless the police can be when women and girls need help.

This event has stayed with me forever and now I have kids of my own it haunts me now more than it did all those years ago. Luckily then I bounced back quick, I told my brain that I had won because I tricked him with my dad picking me up… In reality… My dad abandoned me as a toddler, didn’t want me because I was a girl!!! He would never, ever come to my rescue or help me. But I will always be there to protect my children, my girls, and I’m lucky in the fact that now I have met a wonderful man who is my knight in shining armour and not only protects our girls and would fight to the death to save them… He also protects me. He has made me feel so safe.

So, even though I had a horrible experience with a man, I also have one of the best men in my life. They are indeed not all bad, but… Some men do need to learn to treat women better, us women are still human and we are the life givers of the Earth. Without us there are no heirs to your namesakes and thrones… Just saying…

I hope you liked my book review and I hope my own personal story can help someone, even if it is just one person, one man or one woman to understand how horrific life can be for a woman, a girl… A child. But how with the right love and the right man, life can be beautiful and how to never stop fighting and that if something like that or worse has happened to you, you are not alone, there are many of us out there.

But back to the book one last final time, it was a great read, would highly recommend and it is definitely one of those books that shows girl power and how sometimes, one woman can stand up and be the superheroine we all need, even if it is just fictional.

xo Piper xo