Piper Nuelle

Sometimes when I am reading a book and for instance say a male author has written a book and the main character is a girl or a woman, or one of the other characters are female, there are some slight wording choices or things the characters will do that are not properly representative of us real, true to life leading ladies. Now, don’t get me wrong, some male authors get it and they write a female character with ease and just get it, but sometimes they really just don’t.

So, I have some tips that I have thought of myself but that I have also come up with whilst scrolling the internet and writing forums etc. But I just thought these tips might come in handy if you are planning to write a book with females in it, but wish to get things, correct;

• Makeup – Most woman unfortunately don’t just wake up looking naturally perfect with glowing skin, dark long lashes, shaped brows, no under eye bags, no blemishes etc. Most of us women will get up in the morning and spend the best part of twenty minutes to an hour getting ready for the day or, putting our faces on. Some girls are born with great skin and don’t need a lot doing to them, but they still might put on some SPF or moisturiser or concealer to make the skin soft, glowy and bright. Others need a little more time and makeup to be sculpted and feel beautiful. Makeup is not cheating, or catfishing, makeup is an art expression and can make a shy, anxious woman feel like she can be outgoing and take on the whole world. Makeup is like war paint, a shield or art, the face can be a blank canvas on which to work on. And the same goes for hair, it’s very rare that a woman can just wake up and have perfect flowing hair. A lot of woman get flushed at night with hormones, or if they have been having sexy time with their significant other, their hair is going to reflect that. It’s going to need a brush at the very least and… maybe some dry shampoo!!! Show casing girls or women characters as this perfect, I wake up like this stereotype is very damaging, girls and women that read these books will wonder why they cannot attain this perfected womanly / girl appearance… And well, that is because it is not true. Women can be smelly, women can feel depressed or be in pain and not look or feel perfect, women can wear no makeup and their skin be red, patchy, blotchy and actually, they are still beautiful then too… They are just not made up!

• Clothing – Women are not always dressed to look sexy and be unwrapped like a present. Some women have busy lives, work two jobs, have three kids, are carers, have illnesses and may even slog around some days wearing jogging bottoms and a splotchy pyjama top. And not all women are slim built with large breasts, some are hour glass figures, some are apple figures, some have more feminine figures some have more masculine builds to them which means they may prefer more feminine or more masculine style of clothing. Some love fitness and gym wear clothing, some love cosy knits and hippy skirts. Not all women wear tight, revealing dresses… Some do of course, by night they may be a sexy feme fatal wearing a little black dress to ensnare her man for a night of fun or to get what she needs, and then by day she might be shopping round Tesco in a messy bun, Primark joggers and Nike trainers.

• Nails – If a girl or woman is painting her nails or getting her nails done, it is a lengthy process. Most nail varnishes need a few coats to look their best, nail varnishes take a while to properly dry too, if it is not given enough time to dry it can smudge, rub off, peel or chip. And if they are getting acrylic nails done, they need at least an hour to an hour and a half for the process to be done, and even then, they are not going to want to be washing up, washing hair, fighting or anything else similar due to the nails still bonding or drying deep inside the chemical bonds hours later, or due to the length of the nails and it hurting or damaging the nail. So there is none of this, ‘she finished painting her pinky nail, then grabbed him by the face and ran her hands through his hair’… I mean, she might do that, but he would end up with nail varnish in his hair.

• Tampons are not sexy! Ever!!! The menstrual cycle for a woman is not sexy in any way shape or form and inserting a tampon in to catch the monthly flow, is not arousing or sexual in the slightest… It is yuck!!! Many woman also suffer with immense pain to due period / menstrual cramps and will not be in the mood for ‘fun’ time whilst they are on. In fact, it tends to make us feel, yuck, and not sexy or pretty at all.

• Tasting or smelling sweet or like chocolate… Yummy enough to eat. Obviously the way someone smells to someone else is figurative and personal to the person they are smelling and to the person who owns the nose. I do find it hard that all women smell or taste sweet, especially if your characters have just been on a coffee date and she drinks black coffee with no milk or sugar. My bet is she would taste like freshly ground coffee, not chocolate, vanilla or mint, unless her coffee is flavoured. But there is also the gift of perfume, some people do indeed have a natural smell or aroma that the other person likes to sniff, but I mean… Probably not to the point or to the extreme of Edward Cullen biting back his thirst due to Bella’s blood smelling tasty in Twilight… Unless of course you are writing a supernatural book where people’s senses are heightened maybe. But usually my guess would be they smell of perfume, and not all perfume is sweet or chocolatey or Vanilla… You have woody notes, floral, spicy, musky and maybe even at times a little bit like sweat! I mean you have a gym bunny character who works out a lot, their deodorant and perfumes might only banish sweaty smells so much, but it is normal in a gym setting for people to smell like they have worked out. Think about it, what is their day like and how might that take a toll on their body, sweat glands and body odur.

• Comparing our private parts to… Other objects and food. Sometimes it can be fun to compare male and female anatomy to other things to give a visual representation and make it fun or sexy. But some times, we don’t want our lady parts to be compared to some things. A sugared ring donut for instance, hmmm nice to eat, but not as an image to a lady part…no thanks. Yes it might be a hole, and yummy to eat but it has white flakes of sugar or even coconut at times, and to me it just makes me think of a flaky scalp with dandruff, and no one wants that image in their minds of a sex organ with dandruff. And even a jam donut… Just no… that is like a period mess just waiting to happen.

• Bras – When a woman wears a bra it is to keep part of her womanly body under control and to make the area it hugs look nice and perky. But, a bra is also a woman’s enemy. They can be uncomfortable, they can leave red marks when taken off, dig in, give us a different body shape, cause back pain and be annoying to put on and remove but… There is nothing more exhilarating and freeing than the moment you get home, take off your bra and put on your Pj’s!!! That, is pure heaven!

• Broken shoes – Partying hard on a night out, secret agent, serial killer… Anything could potentially break the heel off a high heeled shoe. Only thing is, snapping off the heel of a high heeled shoe does not instantly now make the shoe a flat pair of shoes. The angle of the sole and the shape of the shoe will be all wrong and it would be incredibly hard and uncomfortable to walk in a pair of shoes with the heels snapped off as flats. (Image made using WordPress AI)

• Periods and pee. A period cannot be held in like you can try and hold your pee. Your period comes out no matter what you try to do, but there is definitely no holding on to it to stop it coming out.

• Hair when taken out of a ponytail will not automatically fall down their back nice and straight and will probably be knotty and need a good brush out. Girls with long hair will know the struggle of the elements such as the wind, blowing your hair into your face, it getting caught and stuck on things such as lipstick and lip gloss, caught in eyelashes, tangles around glasses, caught around buttons or zippers. And then when it is wet from a shower or the rain, it does not really flow elegantly anymore, it sticks and slaps in a splat type of way, especially to the skin or to clothes such as coats.

So as you can tell us women are complex creatures, and to be honest I could go on more about how to write a woman in a book, but that would probably take a book in itself to explain.

I think what us women want in stories and books we read is a sense of realism, a sense of being able to identify with the character. If the female character is flawless, perfect, on a pedestal, can do no wrong, nothing goes wrong, her body is a temple… Blah Blah Blah… It can become off putting because we then have nothing to feel connected with. And the same go for women authors and writers that write men… Not all men have muscular bodies carved from marble and look like an Adonis. You can have tall men, short men, muscular men, thicker set men, men with stretchmarks, a beard, no beard and so on. I think authors and writers alike all need to study the human form of both sexes and try hard to get it as right as possible. Yes there does need to be a hint of fantasy in some ways, you need to imagine the character, but there are ways to do it, without making the character too perfect and unrealistic and unrelatable.

If your a guy, what are your pet peeves when women authors write men. Maybe I could do a version of this post but for writing men. Let me know in the comments if you think of anything.

Take care, xo Piper xo