The hardest personal goal I have ever set for myself has to be my hysterectomy. I have wanted one for years.
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Unfortunately I suffer with a chronic illness and that is Endometriosis and it is where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows elsewhere in the body. A hysterectomy is not a cure for Endometriosis but for some women that suffer with the condition, it can be helpful to manage some of the symptoms and to help control the pain. But having a hysterectomy is not a small thing, it is a HUGE decision to make and it was also not one I could make on my own… Because unfortunately as a woman, I am not in control of my own body, I need permission from loads of other people to help me make the choice.
Now I am not man shaming or woman shaming, there are many a health professional in any gender in my experience that have gas lit me and laughed at my pain. And only my wonderful husband has been in full support of me having a hysterectomy because he has witnessed the years of chronic pain, chronic fatigue, constant and non stop bleeding for months on end, the mental health struggle because of the pain and so on. So, although we both were upset it would essentially mean no more babies for us, we are blessed to have two beautiful little girls, it was, we decided the best route and decision for me. And without his support I would not have got my hysterectomy… Because I needed him to help me fund it with a loan.
The NHS was my first port of call when it came to needing help, I had my first Laparoscopy back in the beginning of 2020 just before Covid hit, although I had been to the doctors on and off since a teenager with chronic ‘period’ pain.
Then my Endo came back and flared up just 6 months after, but I had to be put back on a waiting list for two and a half years to be seen again. And whilst my specialist was a good surgeon and a lovely man who sympathised with my situation and my illness, he would not agree to a hysterectomy. He forwarded my to an Endometriosis clinic because he thought they would have better skills than him and could advise me… but … They were utter S**T!!! They never saw me face to face, lied to me and gas lit me over the phone and via email, told me my MRI was normal when it wasn’t, my ovary was stuck to my womb and twisted, I had scarring all down a ligament that held my womb in place and was attached to my back and caused me chronic back pain. I was livid!!! How can these medical professionals gas light someone in so much pain, who had to give up working due to the pain and tell them everything was normal.
After a discussion with my husband we found a way to be able to pay for me to go private, which was where I met my wonderful surgeon. She listened to me, she explained all what was wrong with my MRI, she told me it may not be the be all and end all cure but it may help. She could see I had made up my mind, I wanted the hysterectomy. She even tried to make it so I didn’t have to pay, she said she could refer me back to the NHS and I could wait for them to do it and have it done for free. But when I told her I had lost all faith in the NHS after them gas lighting me and how I couldn’t wait another two years for them to agree to do it, she agreed.
£10,000 later and in debt to that, I now have my hysterectomy, and do you know what, it was the best decision and personal goal I have ever set myself. Yes the recovery has been hard, I got an infection, I felt like crap, I had to inject myself for two weeks and I was house bound but… I can already feel some of my symptoms are so much better. Not all, but most of them. I can now go most of the day without pain killers instead of taking the highest co-codamol 4 times a day, I haven’t had to use boxes of heat pads to put on my back and my stomach to heat away the pain…. Yes I have now been put into a medical menopause, and yes I have noticed a few changes… For example I have had more migraines since then due to the hormonal changes, I am hungry all the damn time and will probably put on weight and my oh my, hot flushes just wow!!! But I would take all of these any day over the pain and fatigue I used to experience before.
There needs to be more research into this condition and it needs to be taken more seriously. It is not just painful periods, and whilst it is not a cancer it does and can spread like cancer. Endometriosis can be found on the Diaphragm, the lungs, the spine and even in rare cases, the brain! So this disease needs to be taken more seriously. Doctors, medical professionals and people need to stop saying, ‘it’s just a bad period get over it we all have them, or try loosing some weight even though your not actually that big but it might help, or try changing your diet, or its probably constipation that is causing your pain!!!‘ Just no, try listening to us women!!! Endometriosis is so painful, in my opinion it is more painful than child birth.
So yeah, this was my hardest personal goal, to give up my baby making parts, to become what others see me as now less than a woman, to put my body into early menopause at 35, to be out of action for 6 weeks post op, and to have to put myself in debt and pay so much money to make it so I can have a life, so I can enjoy my life with my kids and my family. But it was worth it!!!
xo Piper xo
Piper Nuelle 
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